Tips For Parents to Help Their Children Overcome Trauma
Trauma is defined as any incident that is highly upsetting, frightening, or damaging. Traumas might include abuse, violence, accidents, or natural calamities. Traumas can also include becoming homeless, losing a parent, or being diagnosed with a terrible illness. Traumas are life-threatening occurrences that drive children to worry for their lives or safety. A painful or terrifying encounter
might jeopardize your child's sense of comfort and security. If it is not handled appropriately, your child may develop signs of PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder).
Continue to read and discover ways to help your child deal with childhood trauma.
Understand that children react to trauma differently than adults
- A child's reaction to a stressful or terrifying situation is influenced by various elements, including their age, developmental stage, personality, and the impact of the crisis on their parents or significant others. Your child may not react as you anticipate, and that is OK.
- Some children express their feelings following a traumatic event. Other kids keep their feelings to themselves. They may try to hide their feelings or drive them out of their minds. They may believe that people expect them to "move on." Some people do not have the vocabulary to express their emotions. A parent may be unaware of what their child is going through for these reasons.
A child can express response to the trauma in the following ways:
Preoccupation - seeking to repeat the event, for example, through repetitive play or drawing
Disengagements - such as lack of interest in activities, loss of confidence, not wanting to converse, or regressing to more 'babyish' ways of behaving.
Feelings of anxiety/loneliness and guilt-The youngster may be unduly anxious about future events or have nightmares or anxiety - such as:
- Difficulty concentrating or paying attention,
- Clinging behavior,
- Separation anxiety,
- Sleep issues and irritable behavior
- Physical symptoms - such as headaches and stomach discomfort
Allow for a delayed response. Some children appear to handle it well at first but might develop stress responses days, weeks, or even months later.
Discuss the Incident
It helps in bringing all concerns to light. Here are some ideas:
- Assure your child that the incident has ended and that they are secure. You may have to reassure them several times.
- Pay attention to when your child is speaking and their body posture. Consider their concerns and sentiments.
- Inform your youngster that you want to know how things are going for them.
- Explain to your child the occurrence of the incident in a way that is acceptable for their level of comprehension and avoids going into alarming or gruesome detail. Use terminology that people will comprehend. They will use their experience, accessible facts, and creativity to fill in the holes if you withhold factual information from them.
- Check to see whether your child has reached any incorrect conclusions. Younger children, for example, may believe that disasters are their responsibility because they misbehave or think negatively about someone.
- Discuss the event as a family. Allow everyone, even siblings, to speak up. This assists everyone in overcoming isolation, understanding one another, and feeling supported and heard.
- Discuss with your child how others may react to distress. Tell them that their emotions are typical in these situations and that they will gradually feel better.
Focus on your reaction
Your reaction to the distressing experience is significant to your child. The impact of the crisis on you and your reactions to your child's feelings and behavior will significantly affect your child's capacity to cope and heal. Consider the following points:
- Be understanding. Recognize that behavioral changes, such as tantrums or bedwetting, maybe your child's reaction to unpleasant or scary circumstances.
- If your kid has separation anxiety, pay additional attention to them during bedtime and other times of separation.
- Children seek their parents or caregivers to help them grasp a problem and determine how to respond to and deal with it. They require adults to 'listen in' to their anxieties and anguish and to comfort and support them.
- You must seek support and assistance if you are distressed and experiencing difficulties with your feelings, reactions, or relationships. If you don't, the child's anxiety and discomfort will worsen.
- Discuss your sentiments with your child in an acceptable manner, and enable them to express theirs.
- Remember that everyone is unique and may experience various feelings. Expect your child to feel differently than you do.
Encourage children to make decisions
- Give your child some say over their lives. For example, allowing kids to pick sandwich fillings of their choice at lunch, deciding what to wear, etc., lets them feel more in charge. This is especially vital to building up the confidence of a child with PTSD. Children who think that they are powerless have more severe stress symptoms.
- Avoid becoming excessively protective of your child. It's normal to keep your family members near following a mishappening. Still, you also want them to feel secure in their surroundings. So, let them be and go out and explore if they want to.
Maintain your usual schedule
- Children find the consistency of their family's daily schedule reassuring. Assure your child that their routine will be the same. For a time, they may be unable to carry out their typical practices, such as attending school or conducting domestic tasks. But don't force it. Let them take time to heal.
- Changes such as new procedures or harsher behavioral requirements should not be implemented. That can wait for another day.
- Maintain family roles if possible. For example, don't expect your child to take on more responsibilities around the house or address a concerned parent's emotional needs.
- Don't insist on three main meals if your child's appetite is impacted. If they don't want to eat at mealtimes, provide them regular snacks throughout the day.
- Make sure that your child receives adequate rest and sleep.
Spend time in physical activities
- Allow lots of time for your youngster to play and enjoy leisure activities such as sports, especially favorite games and activities with their 'best' and familiar friends.
- Allow time for enjoyment. Laughter, good moments, and shared joy may make everyone in the family feel better.
- Involve in physical activity; this will assist your child in burning off stress hormones and improving their sleep.
- Allow your child to physically relax by providing warm baths, massages, reading sessions, and many cuddles.
- Intervene if an activity upsets or worries your kid, such as a television show that reminds the child of the trauma or generates feelings of concern, anxiety, or dread. If the program material is not promoting the child's healing, don't be afraid to turn it off.
How Does Therapy Aid in the Healing of Children After a Trauma?
Therapy allows children to securely express their emotions, tell their stories, and get support. They practice coping and relaxing techniques. They know to change their thoughts and feelings regarding the incident. They gradually learn to confront what they previously avoided. Therapy assists children in developing their bravery and confidence.
Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy is a type of treatment for trauma (or TF-CBT). It consists of trauma-healing activities such as talking, playing, and learning.
Parents benefit from TF-CBT as well. It's normal for parents to be sad over their child's ordeal. Parents receive the assistance they require in counseling. They are given guidance on how to assist their child at home. Parents may play an essential part in their child's healing using TF-CBT. They are taught to listen in ways that encourage their child to open up, communicate, and feel connected to them. They assist their child in developing coping skills at home. They share the joy that their youngster is making improvements.
How Do I Find Therapy for My Child?
Consult your child's doctor. Inform them of your child's experiences. Your child's doctor is concerned about their mental health as well.
Request that your kid's doctor recommends you to a trained child therapist or psychologist who can assist you. You may need to take your kid to treatment once a week for a few months. However, you will see progress along the road.
How Can I Give My Child the Extra Help They Require?
Children require your support and comfort more than ever after a traumatic event. Make certain to:
Spend quality time with your youngster. Do something peaceful, calming, or enjoyable. Cook together, go on a stroll, play, read, create art, or sing. Make an effort to do this every day, even if it is only for a few minutes.
Parent with kindness and patience. Use kind language. Praise your youngster when they are doing well or trying hard. Tell your child you are proud of them. When they make a mistake, be patient. Demonstrate how to try again.
Demonstrate affection. Use hugs, smiles, words, and loving deeds to express your appreciation. When your youngster is angry, use soothing words and provide comfort.
Have calming routines. Spend a few minutes before bedtime (or any time) reading a tale, snuggling together, or singing to your small kid. Make it a habit to offer older children a good night hug, followed by a few minutes to speak, listen, or laugh together. Those few extra minutes spent with you can help your child feel calm, safe, and relaxed.
These may appear to be little details – things you already do. However, providing more assistance and attention keeps your youngster feeling loved and connected to you. That closeness is more important than ever after a trauma. If you are still struggling with your kid who has suffered any childhood trauma or has PTSD, you must seek professional help.
Conclusion
Parents go to great lengths to safeguard their children. Unfortunately, many children experience trauma. The emotional impact of a traumatic event might persist for an extended period. It might be challenging to move on. Trauma can cause post-traumatic stress disorder in confident children (PTSD).
However, children may recover from trauma. Apart from therapy, parents must also provide additional assistance and comfort to their children. ParentalMastery.com is on your side. In their parenting journey, we help parents discover new methods to deal with life's obstacles. Continue reading our blog for additional ideas and methods to help you be the best parent you can be for your child.