Understanding and Managing Separation Anxiety in Babies

Separation anxiety is a common and natural part of a baby's development. It typically begins to appear around 6 to 18 months of age and can be challenging for both the baby and the parents. Understanding the causes, signs, and strategies to manage separation anxiety can help ease this phase for everyone involved.

What is separation anxiety?

Separation anxiety occurs when an infant feels sad or anxious when separated from their primary caregiver, usually a parent. This anxiety is a normal stage of development and reflects the infant's growing awareness of the environment and attachment to the caregiver.

Common Signs of Separation Anxiety in Babies

Identifying common signs of separation anxiety can help parents respond appropriately. Common symptoms include:

Crying and aggression: Crying or aggression increases when the caregiver leaves or is out of sight.
Clinginess: The baby clings to the caregiver and refuses to be put down.
Nighttime wakings: These are the common signs of separation anxiety in babies at night; they find it difficult to sleep alone or to wake up and find their caregiver. If they don't find them next to them, they might cry and take time to fall back asleep.
Less socialization: reluctant to interact with others or explore their surroundings in the absence of a caregiver.
Physical signs: Some babies may experience stress symptoms such as abdominal pain or headaches.

When Does Separation Anxiety Start in Babies?

mother looking at her baby boy crying at the crib

Separation anxiety occurs when infants begin to learn permanent objects. Object permanence is the sense that people and things continue even though the baby can't see them. Infants begin to understand this at 6-12 months of age. But because they don't have a sense of time, they don't know when their caregiver will arrive. This makes them afraid and nervous.

Children who are more independent at an early age may find themselves more isolated from their caregivers. This can lead them through another phase of separation anxiety. Separation anxiety will often disappear naturally as the child grows older. However, there are certain factors that can trigger it, such as:

Another sibling who came along
A new or unfamiliar place to raise children
Frequent changes in nanny or caregiver
The loss of a parent or guardian
Long periods of absence from the caregiver
If the caregiver is overstressed,
If the baby is feeling tired, hungry, or uncomfortable,
A parenting style that discourages independence, or the ability of children to make some of their own decisions, can reinforce attachment.

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Common Causes of Separation Anxiety in Babies

Many factors cause separation anxiety in babies:

Developmental milestones: As infants grow, they become more aware of their surroundings, and their attachment to caregivers strengthens.
New experiences: Starting daycare, new caregivers, or changes in routine can trigger separation anxiety.
Parental behavior: Babies feel like their parents. When parents are anxious or worried, babies can experience these feelings, which further increases their anxiety.
Behavior: Some babies are naturally very anxious, making them susceptible to separation anxiety.

How long does separation anxiety last?

The duration of separation anxiety in infants can vary greatly. For some, it may take weeks; for others, it may take months. Most children grow past separation anxiety by age 3 because they better understand the world and are more confident in their parents' return.

How to Deal With Separation Anxiety in Babies During the Day

The best way to deal with separation anxiety is to address the anxiety and fear that the baby is experiencing. This will allow you to recover from the separation over time.

Avoid sneaking away suddenly

While it's tempting to sneak away without seeing baby, problems can arise in the long run. The baby is constantly worried that their caregiver could disappear at any time, increasing separation anxiety. Release tells the baby what to do and gives confidence that the caregiver will not leave without telling them.

Keep your byes brief and warm

A delayed goodbye can prolong the sadness, so keep the goodbye short and positive. It can help to create welcoming rituals such as a special handshake, or offering a special blanket or toy to comfort the child. It's okay to comfort a child experiencing separation anxiety, but don't hesitate. Give them all your attention and love and then leave.

Leave the baby for short intervals

Practice leaving the baby in a safe place before moving into another room. Come back after a brief separation. And if you are not far away, keep talking or singing to the baby to let them know that their caregiver is still nearby, even out of sight.

Play to encourage separation

Peek-a-boo is an excellent activity to help babies see that even if someone is gone, they are still there and will return. Similarly, caregivers can cover and remove toys with cloth. Similarly, children can benefit from playing hide-and-seek with caregivers.

Always hug and comfort your child

Spend time daily holding and cuddling your child and comforting them when they feel scared or upset. It is also advised to practice daily baby wearing for at least 30-40 minutes to ensure skin-to-skin contact. This helps build safety and comfort for your babies.

Give babies free space to explore

Give babies and young children a chance to crawl into another safe room away from their caregiver and well supervised. This will help them feel free in their steps and help them understand that it is safe to do so.

Develop a routine

Routines create a reliable and stable routine for the day. Routine is important for children, as it builds stability and reduces the stress of the unknown. Make note that changes such as shifting homes, moving a child to a new school, having new guests over, or going to a party are all very challenging situations for a baby. Ensure that you are present during any major changes to help the baby settle instead of a nanny or a babysitter.

Gradually bring in new supervisors

Give babies and toddlers time to get to know new caregivers, such as other relatives or daily care workers. For example, before starting daycare, one can plan an introduction to help the baby learn about new people.

Explain what is going on and return on time

Caregivers should explain that they leave the baby with someone else and leave for a while but will return. As the baby grows, they begin to understand these explanations. Timing can also help. Be specific when doing this so that the child knows exactly when to expect a return visit. For example, he might say, "I'll be back after you go to bed to take you home.

How to Deal With Separation Anxiety in Babies at Night

Providing comfort and reassurance during the day can help ease separation at night. However, children often need some extra help at bedtime to feel safe before going to bed:

Stick to a bedtime routine
Make sure they have a safe toy or blanket
Keep calm and relaxed when saying goodnight so children can see their caregivers' intentions
Avoid sneaking out after falling asleep; this can be painful if your baby wakes up again
Comfort the child and leave if he or she wakes up by rubbing or patting until he or she calms down
Avoid getting them out of bed and rocking them back to sleep whenever possible.

Conclusion

Separation anxiety is a normal developmental condition that many babies experience. By understanding the causes and symptoms and using effective strategies, parents can help their babies move through this stage confidently and comfortably. Remember that with patience and consistency, separation anxiety will diminish over time, giving your child a sense of security and independence.

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