How To Handle an Angry Child Without Losing Your Mind
Are you like many parents who struggle to handle their child’s anger? Do you fear that it will escalate out of control and cause irreparable damage to your relationship? Does your child’s anger make you feel scared, intimidated, or even fearful for your safety? If so, you are not alone. Many parents struggle with their child’s anger because they don’t know how to respond. Most would be happy if their kid never got angry again and just smiled sweetly at them all the time. But the truth is that kids get mad and stay that way.
They may not show it often, but children have pent-up frustrations and resentments towards us, which can erupt at any moment. As scary as it may seem, an angry child is not a sign of weakness or some kind of parenting failure but is perfectly natural. The trick is knowing how to appropriately manage those feelings before they spiral out of control and bring down everyone around them!
Knowing Why And When Your Child Is Angry
Anger is a natural emotion that arises in response to a perceived threat, injury, or loss. It is a normal reaction to feelings of frustration or resentment. Whether you like it or not, your child’s anger arises from your relationship with them. What we do, or don’t do, triggers and shapes their feelings. Even when we are unaware of what we are doing, our children experience our actions and reactions on a deep level.
This is why we need to be particularly mindful of what we say and do when our child is expressing their frustrations. Your child’s anger may stem from their relationship with you. Or it might be a result of their response to their school environment, the demands of their social life, or even their relationship with their peers. It can also be the result of your child trying to find their own identity or establish a sense of who they are as a person.
How To Handle an Angry Child
When your child is in the grip of anger, their ability to communicate is impaired. They may not be able to find their words or be able to communicate what they need effectively. As their parent, it is up to you to be a translator and help your child express their feelings in a constructive way.
Step 1: Understand Why Your Child is so Angry
As soon as your child begins to show signs of anger, it is important that you make an effort to understand the source of their frustrations. Try to put yourself in your child’s shoes and imagine what it is like for them. What is happening in their life that might be triggering these feelings? As soon as your child begins to show signs of anger, it is important that you make an effort to understand the source of their frustrations.
What is happening in their life that might be triggering these feelings? Try to make a mental note of what happened right before the anger arose. Was there a specific trigger that caused the feelings of frustration? If you can pinpoint what caused the anger, you will be in a much better position to help your child manage their feelings.
Step 2: Communicate Your Own Sense of Calm and Safety
As your child is feeling out of control, they are in desperate need of an anchor. They need to know that they are safe and secure, that they are not alone, and that they have the support of a trusted adult. Your child is likely to be in a state of panic. But as their parent, you need to display a sense of calm and safety.
You need to communicate to your child that everything is going to be okay. Your child needs you to model a state of emotional control and confidence. You need to be the anchor that your child clings to in their time of need.
Step 3: Set Limits While Showing You Care
When an angry child threatens to harm others or is physically aggressive, it is important to set appropriate boundaries. When your child is angry, they are not in their right mind. They are not thinking clearly. They are feeling, but they are not thinking. They may want to hurt themselves, or they may want to lash out at others. This is not a time to be gentle or go easy on your child. This is a time to intervene and take control. You can set boundaries and limits by using an assertive and authoritative tone.
This is not a time for gentle guidance. It is a time for action. Let your child know that their behavior is not okay and that it must stop. Be firm and direct, but remember to also show your child that you care. While setting boundaries, make sure that you are not being disrespectful or abusive. Your child needs to know that you are displeased with their actions but that you still care about them and their well-being.
Step 4: Help Your Child Identify and Express Their Feelings
As children feel safe and secure, they may open up and begin to talk about their feelings. Or they might begin to act them out through aggressive or destructive behavior.
- If your child is physically aggressive, try to find a way to bring the situation to an end without punishing your child. Calmly and assertively remove them from the situation, but do so without anger or aggression.
- If your child is engaging in destructive or aggressive behavior, try to redirect their behavior (without negating their feelings) and encourage them to express their feelings in a more constructive way.
- If your child is unable to articulate what they are feeling, you can help them identify and label their emotions. By doing this, you are giving your child a tool to help them process and manage their feelings.
Step 5: Help Your Child Develop Strategies to Manage Their Anger and Frustrations
As your child’s anger continues to arise, you can work with them to help them find constructive ways to deal with those feelings. When your child is calm and has re-gathered their composure, you can open up a discussion about their feelings. Ask them what they were feeling and why. Engage your child in an open and non-judgmental conversation.
Let them know that their feelings are normal. Everyone experiences anger and frustration, and it is part of being human. Your child’s anger is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that they are human.
Conclusion
Having an angry child can be one of the most stressful things you will experience as a parent. Trying to understand where their anger is coming from, figuring out how to soothe them, and figuring out what triggered it in the first place can all be very overwhelming for new parents. This feeling of being overwhelmed by your child’s anger is normal and something that almost every parent experiences at some point or another.
The important thing is that you know how to handle an angry child without losing your own mind. If you find yourself constantly feeling off-kilter when dealing with your child’s anger, take a deep breath and follow our tips. This article will help put you back on track! Visit Parentalmastery.com for more information, tips, and advice to help your children grow and develop.